


What If?

by 1004dks



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Children, Drama, F/M, Family, Family Bonding, Father-Daughter Relationship, Fatherhood, First Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Inspired by Music, Love/Hate, Male-Female Friendship, Marriage, Married Couple, Married Life, Mentioned Do Kyungsoo | D.O, Mentioned Kim Minseok | Xiumin, Mother-Son Relationship, Motherhood, Multi, Parent-Child Relationship, Parenthood, Past Relationship(s), Romance, Slow Burn, Terminal Illnesses
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-06
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-01-24 03:56:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21331888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1004dks/pseuds/1004dks
Summary: she left without noticing, breaking Baekhyun's heart. however destiny decided to make the two reunite - unveiling everything that has been hid for all those past 6 years of being apart
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Original Character(s), Kim Minseok | Xiumin/Original Character(s), Park Chanyeol/Original Character(s)
Kudos: 2





	1. six years after

**Author's Note:**

> completed in aff

1.

It was a quiet morning since there was almost no one arrived the office yet, causing me to be able to take my time; arranging papers on my desk, tidying up that place a bit before sitting down alone with my smartphone in hand, catching up with the world. Tired of switching social media apps back and forth, I decided to entertain myself by reading the latest issue of an online magazine, but my finger stops at the very first article after the headline. Without me even realizing, my breath hitched for a second as my eyes trailed on the screen, reading what appears on that smart technology.

‘World’s Top Designer, Byun Baekhyun is now back in his home country!’

‘After almost 6 years of building his successful career far from home, this star is now coming back to Korea and decided to settle down here! From his recent interview, Byun Baekhyun stated that…’

“Now that he is back, seemingly would make his brand even more popular than before. I never hate to have competitors but this one weirdly gives me one real bad feeling…”

I turn my head around to meet the owner of that voice and gives him a thin smile. Immediately, I put my phone aside, get up from where I was sitting and head to the pantry, purposely leaving the guy behind. Taking a mug and a sachet of 3 in 1 coffee, I tear the packet opened and serve myself a refreshing instant white coffee at the beginning of another day. Quietly through the glasses, my eyes glance at him tailing me up to this place and now he is leaning against the wall, arms crossed.

“Coffee, again?”

“This is the only thing I could drink other than plain water, sir.” I steal a glance before continuing, “Do you want some?”

He declines my offer politely with a hand gesture and cute little pout. “Having caffeine to have a fresh day start, you are so…basic.”

I shrug lazily, “I bet I am.” Pulling out one chair for me to sit on, I sip my morning coffee as I asked, “So what do you want from me at the very beginning of day?”

That guy pouted, “Have been missing you a lot. Why? Do you hate me that much?”

“I took only a day off,” I shook my head in disbelief. “But you’re acting like we haven’t each other for week as if we didn’t see each other’s face at home. We are even working at the same exact company. You really can’t get enough of me, don’t you?” He cackles at that before taking a seat across the table and rested his chin on it while tapping the table in some unknown rhythmic beat.

“It’s only 8 in the morning but I already miss the kids…”

“Me too,” I sighed. My hand reach out for his head and ruffle it playfully, messing around with his hair-do.

He whines loudly while backing away and that face turns sour with the plump lips of his puckered as he condemns about me ruining his hair as I always do, making me laugh my heart out over that funny expression on his face.

That chattering mouth stopped talking, slowly lifted his gaze up to meet my face again. Slowly, a curved upward line forms on his lips as he breathed in a relief, “Now you’re laughing again.”

“Why did you say that? As if I didn’t laugh when Hyun Joon cracked up his joke this morning.”

He shakes his head while tittering, probably reminded of how he couldn’t answer the kid’s question when we were having breakfast this morning. “It wasn’t a joke, he asked a nonsense question, and how could I even find an answer to ‘why 6 is afraid of 7’?”

“How dare you said it was nonsense?” My eyes widened. “The answer is ‘because 7, 8, 9’, you never heard of that joke?”

He frowns, “I’m sorry I lived a boring childhood…!”

“You surely did, Chanyeol.” I giggled. “That’s why you have Hyun Joon and Hyun Joo to make it up.”

Chanyeol rapidly nodded with a big grin of his. “Ah…you’re making me miss them more,” he fusses underneath his breath.

“I can’t believe they’re at the age of going to kindergarten now…”

“They’re growing up so fast…”

Our conversation ends right at the moment one other person walks in between us. “Good morning, sir.” She politely greets while bowing at Chanyeol before turning to me, her eyes are telling something. Obviously questioning why I am here in this early morning, chilling and ridiculously not doing my job right in front of our boss.

Well, no one in this office knows what kind of relationship that me and Chanyeol have.

To them, I am that 30 years-old pathetic rookie and Park Chanyeol is the CEO of this popular clothing brand company. Well the actual thing is, his family owns a few more places – a huge publishing company, three or four shopping malls, one of the top three modelling agency and now I think I lose count. Besides being known as the money-maker genius, he is also has been named as one of the most influential business man of this country. Thus that makes Chanyeol is someone who is too good to be true. Young, very dashing, a loved employer and very, extremely rich.

With her quick moves, Ji Eun dragged me out of the pantry, pulling me to a small space by the locker room.

Her brows furrow as she hits me lightly on the arm. “Yah, are you crazy?” Those eyes are filled with concern as she whisper-yelled, “I know that Boss favors you a lot, but what if the others see that?”

I sniggers, knowing what she meant by ‘the others’.

The senior colleagues there – most of them are probably younger than me by age – are extremely strict (I mean, nosy) of newbies’ attitude. Ji Eun is also a senior but she is the only one who treats me nicely. And to be honest Chanyeol is the one who told me that she is someone safe to befriend of.

“It’s okay, it is still early in the morning. No one is here yet.”

“That is why it could be more suspicious.”

“I’ll be okay, I’m used to that.” I pat Ji Eun’s shoulder playfully and walk back to where we were from, to finish up the coffee I left on the table.

As I reach there, Chanyeol has already left and the mug is also…emptied.

While picking it up for me to wash, I murmured as I concealed a smile, “Such a lame act, honey.”

*****

I was really enjoying my short break by resting my head on the desk, refusing to go out for a lunch for I am too lazy to even sit up straight until my name is called by someone familiar. Just an unimportant person in the office but soon as she approaches, I already know a trouble is about to come. With that foxy little smile, she puts a credit card right in front of me “Do your routine.” Then shamelessly demands, “As usual, get things according to our preferences. Remember, chai latte and strawberry scones for me.”

Of course I fucking hate do this but I prefer leaving for an errand rather than facing that annoying big-headed wench, torturing my precious ears listening to her idle chatter that could start anytime if I was stalling.

The real thing is, to call and treat someone like me who have been working here for more than six month as a ‘rookie’; it is totally irrelevant. However of course, I am obviously favorable by our employer so being a target of the bitter employees should be normal. And I have always put the blame on Chanyeol for that.

Both of us have agreed on keeping our true relationship as a secret from anyone in the workplace – except from his personal assistant – but that silly guy never manages to hold himself back from babying me in front of my co-workers. He seems like he builds up suspicion on purpose; a small revenge as I insisted to start from the bottom rather than immediately works as a branch manager just like what he suggested long ago. Chanyeol is still keeping up with that, constantly trying to convince me to take that position.

An unnecessarily strong kind of perseverance that he has.

But as you can see, his request has never been accepted for almost a year. At least not yet, since he is dealing with me who is also very persistent, someone with a very high ego, to be precise.

Speak of the devil, my phone rings out of sudden and Chanyeol’s name is displayed on the screen.

“I feel a gloomy vibe going around right now so where are you? Buying coffee from that small café in front of the building?” He jokes and cleverly made a precise guessing right after the call is being connected.

“If you knew it already then why do you ask?”

I replied lazily, is actually still resenting with the fact that I have to run this errand for almost every day when there is a lot of other rookies who are clearly very much younger than me. How could they bully an old ass like me?

“Wait for me,” he commands. “I’ll be there.”

Well I know I am supposed to act sulky in this kind of situation but a smile couldn’t help but to creep on my face. Chanyeol’s voice sounds deep and firm that I strangely feel safe even they are just simple words from him. As soon as the call ended, I place the order at the counter and take a buzzing device with me before finding myself a spot for me to wait for Park Chanyeol to come. And I was lost in my own world in that meantime, my ears caught on a whispering conversation from the customers whose table is right behind me; which manages to pull me back to the world.

“That’s him, right?”

“Who? That man at the counter?”

“Yes, yes. The world’s fashion designer we have talked about last night. The mysterious type.”

My eyes widened.

“Oh my, that is really him?!”

“My goodness… Why did he never reveals his face before, with that look? ”

I am still having my eyes pinned to the ground, and intentionally letting my hair fall by my side to hide my face from anyone there. My heart beats even faster when I heard one of those girls’ suggests.

“He sat on that table, should we asks for a selfie?”

The sound of chairs behind me being moved indicates that the girls are actually going for what they were planning of as they approach the table next to mine.

And my world immediately halted, my mind goes completely blank soon as one of them had really called out of that name.

“Excuse me…You are that top designer, Byun Baekhyun, right?”

"Perhaps, yes?"

Hearing that familiar giggle coming from that guy, my heart sunk.

No way.

Out of all places, why is he here? Out of all time, why now?

I am not exaggerating when I say my soul is not there anymore since I was being woke up in a flash by someone’s presence; right when he snatches the loud buzzing device from me. My shaking pupils immediately meet a pair of orbs that is giving me a soft, deeply worried look.

“Hey.” Gently, Chanyeol called out my name as he sits beside me. “Are you okay? This thing has been making its sounds since I went in just now.” That device is then immediately passed at his PA for the order to be taken care of. He was deeply staring at me while holding my hand tight. “Oh God, your hands are cold! Why are you not talking? Did you get hurt somewhere?”

I feel a lump on my throat when that question being asked.

Carefully, Chanyeol rests his palm on my cheek and brushes off the hair from my face before tucking them behind the ear to have a better look on me; not realizing that those sweet and gentle gesture have caught someone’s else attention onto us. Right afterward feeling a pair of eyes are piercing, gazing at us, I tugged on Chanyeol’s shirt as I quietly asked, “Let’s go home.”


	2. Chapter 2

2.

My eyes steals a glance at Chanyeol who is having his eyes focused on the road as he drives the car, heading somewhere away from the office building. While the food and drinks that I was asked to buy earlier have already been taken care by Mr. Jung, Chanyeol’s personal assistant. Somehow I noticed that almost half-decade years old man’s concerned look earlier, he told me to have strength, and cheer me up before excusing himself to return to the office.

Mr. Jung is someone who has been working for Chanyeol’s family ever since this only heir of that family was born. Which is why; he does not feel like an assistant but a real brother to Chanyeol. And I feel the same way too. He is always calm, and very, very informative.

Sometimes I feel like watching a local drama that includes one kind of bodyguard who feels like family towards the main character; whom also has the answers to all your wonders. That typical drama details actually describes Mr. Jung the same exact way in our life.

The music in the car has been turned on but the volume is too low, adding the tense of air between us, since there are words that are still being left unuttered.

I know Chanyeol has must been deadly curious of what just happened, of what’s in my head. But he has not directing any kind of questions to me yet as a way of respect. Chanyeol has been always being someone considerate ever since I know him; also one of the reasons why I feel safe being around him. He knows I will tell him if I really want to. And yes, I want to tell him as quickly as possible, however not in this cramped space.

My subconscious mind has noticed that the road that we are taking is not the way to home, instead, we are going to pick up the love of our life.

As Chanyeol has carefully parked the car right in front of the kindergarten, he turns to me with a sweet smile, tipping his head to the outside and both of us get off from it quickly – perhaps a little too excited for it. Quietly, a big hand reached out for mine, holding it gently as we walked together towards the entrance; where all the parents are already waiting for their children.

I heard a soft chuckles as Chanyeol speaks, “I’m going to bet that both Joonie Jooie are going to hug me first.” He brags with a boastful smile. “We both know they love me more.”

“Bold.” I breathe. “Joonie is a mummy boy, at least he is going to hug me first.”

“You’re making a safe decision, I see. Isn’t Hyun Joo your child too?”

I pout, “But I can’t deny that they love you more.”

At that, Chanyeol laughs his heart out as he pulls me closer by wrapping my shoulder with his arm. “The loser will pay the ice-cream for today, deal?”

“Chanyeol I think your taste bud is rapidly changing into the kids’ preferences but okay, ice-cream it is. Deal.”

We stand far behind the other parents but some of them have already turn their head around, greeting and introducing themselves to us since this is the first time for all of the guardians to meet each other. I have my eyes analyzing the people around, and just like us, most of them are obviously from their offices; probably took a half-day leave for their kids. And we also meet a few of househusbands as well; that drives my teasing mode to Chanyeol, “It would be nice if you be one too.”

But he immediately replied, “And letting myself get bullied by Joonie Jooie every single day, all day long? No thanks.”

That kind of situation has happened for countless times already, where Chanyeol is being ‘victimized’ by the kids. There was once I found Chanyeol was acting as ‘the unicorn’ for them – he had both Joonie and Jooie sitting on his back as he was on all fours, crawling around the house. Not to mention that at the same moment, Chanyeol had his ‘hair-do’ by Hyun Joo with pretty hairclips everywhere on his head and his face was decorated with stickers.

Chanyeol was the one who has been taking care of the kids when I went to classes in my degree years; that is the time where I am deeply thankful for his presence. Raising kids while studying is surely harder than anything but for his physical help and continuous emotional support, I survived those years successfully.

A sudden sound of children’s chortling pulling me out of my reverie, and Chanyeol squats down right at the moment those giggles we want to hear the most has reached our ears.

“Mommy!”

In a blink, the twins are already wrapping themselves around my legs; making me chuckles delightfully – not sure why, either my heart is happy for having my children around me or due to Chanyeol’s sour face when he was ditched by both Joonie and Jooie. I lean down to the kids before pulling them into a hug as I cooed, “Aww my babies. How was school today?”

“Gweat!!!” Joonie answers it brightly.

“Do you miss Mommy?”

This time they answered it together at the same time. “Yes!”

Again, Joonie and Jooie hug me tighter than before.

Just by the sound of their cackles, I feel all the problems that I was having just now being lifted up. While tucking up Hyun Joo’s hair behind her ears, I point my finger to Chanyeol who was still pouting beside me. “Go kiss Daddy.”

As I command, Joonie runs towards him first but Chanyeol purposely hugging his knees, hiding his face from the kids and pretends to weep. For that, Joonie reaches Chanyeol’s arm with those little hands of his and pulled that big arm, pleading. “Daddy, I’m sowwy…”

Then Jooie catches up with her brother, tugging on another side. She says the same thing and adds, “I’ll be a good girl, I promise. Joonie, you too!”

“Yesh! I pwomise too!”

I watch with a continuous soft laugh, secretly anticipating at Chanyeol’s next act. That guy stops doing that crying sound and looks up to the kids, “Really? You’ll be good to Mommy?” Chanyeol lifts up his head and looks at me, sneakily winking his eyes.

Then they bob their head almost at the same time, with much strength; definitely showing their determination on this.

“How about Daddy? Will you guys be good kids towards Daddy too?” I prepensely check on that and immediately receives their strong-willed nod.

“We w-will!”

Then Chanyeol opens his arms wide for them to jump in while the twins giggle gleefully as they succeeded in appeasing their sulky dad. “Daddy is thinking of rewarding you two…Should we go for ice-cream?”

“Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“But first…should I get kisses too?” After receiving the kisses everywhere on his face as he demanded, Chanyeol pumped his fists to the air as he cheers, “Ice-cream, go-go!” before the kids scream excitedly when their feet leave the ground as the dad strongly gets up, carrying them both.

“Ice-cweam! Ice-cweam!”

* * *

“Does the mommy wants ice-cream too?”

Chanyeol waves the only one ice-cream that he has left in his hand but quickly pulls it back soon as I was about to take his offer. As I look at him half-puzzled half-annoyed, he puffs one side of his cheeks and taps on it so I laugh at him, deadpanned. Instead of giving him what he wants, I lightly push that face away from me causing that man to frown.

“The kids got this after giving kisses, it’s unfair if you get it for free.”

“This is not something free because I, the champion, won the bet, remember?”

My eyes squint at him and I stick my tongue out as I brag before snatching the cone off from Chanyeol’s hand. He just laughs it off as he ruffles my hair and continue eyeing what’s in front. We both share the same view now, of the twins who are sitting side by side, serenely enjoying their ice-cream by the beach we are currently at. Both of them are surely enjoying their time after hours in school, as well as us too. As the sound of wind breezes accompanying me and Chanyeol, smoothly, an unoccupied big and veiny hand of his reaches for mine, squeezing it lightly as a symbol of reassurance.

“Well…about earlier…” I bit my lips, hesitating.

Then I turn my body to face him slightly before getting a nod for me to proceed.

“He’s back.”

It was obvious that Chanyeol’s expression turns slightly dark, his pupils becomes a bit dilated under the spectacles he was wearing which shows that he may be worried…and shocked to hear it. “In that café earlier, I saw him. The father of the twins.”

On the next second, he pulls me into his arms. Chanyeol slowly patting on my back and caresses my hair; providing his comfort as he knows how this situation would affect me even after years have passed. This thing has been always living as a big mass in my head, always making me wonder if I had made a right decision or otherwise. But in his arms, it feels lighter. Feeling secured, I bury my head at the crook of his neck and close my eyes to let the welled up tears falls down my cheek as the man calmly whispers, “Everything is going to be okay. I’ll always be here, promise.”

* * *

I look up to the mirror, staring at my own reflection. Somehow my eyes trail downward; my fingers brush on the tummy, where stretch marks used to be there before. Delivering to twins is super painful, to the point that I could still remember the pain of it down there at times. As far as I could remember, it was after two or three years which were occupied with lots and lots of incidents full of hardships and struggles, I finally get this figure back. Chanyeol knew how devastated I was when I saw myself in the mirror, or at the time where I found out that my body won’t fit my old outfits anymore – so he signed me up to a gym class with an in-home personal trainer.

That man is also the one who arranged my diet routine, he gave me recipes, taught me to cook hundreds types of dishes, secretly took childcare training so that he help could me out taking care of the twins appropriately.

I was only in my early 20s when I first found out that I was about to become a mom so I made my biggest decision in life, dropping out from college and leave my dream behind for my children’s sake. That year was the hardest for me, I was at the young age but I had to let all the things that I love go, also the person I loved the most; yet I managed to gain strength and survive it all thanks to the one who had always got my back, Chanyeol, and the enormous mass of happiness from the little ones, Joonie and Jooie.

Then when I saw him earlier, I felt like a rock just fell on my head.

Everything that I have been trying to erase from my memories are all over the place in my mind again. Foolishly, I am regretting that I hid my face and not even peeking to take a look at him even for a second. All these years, these six whole years, I have set my mind that I could overlook the pasts and have a new life, building a whole new character with new people in my life but I guess there are still remaining feelings that never actually leaves.

They stay there, because the one disturbing thing about memories is…they aren’t just the collection of events that happened, but they have all different kinds of emotions, carved on each of them.

I walk out from the bathroom just to find myself my three beloved person are already asleep, as usual, one on each arms. A warm smile appears on my face, also in my heart. This has been my very favorite sight, always. Though I once dreamt of someone else being their ‘Daddy’ before.

Quietly, I squat down and lightly tap on Chanyeol’s thigh to wake him up.

Thanks to the kids, that man has eventually turn into a light sleeper as he softly groans before opening his eyes, giving me a confused look. He keeps his movements mild when his head turns side to side and soon as he realizes the situation, Chanyeol carefully gets up from where he was landing, leaving the twins sleeping on their bed.

That man follows from behind as I walk out from the room, passing the living room to the main door. Then I turn to him, beaming as I take little steps forward and wrap my arms around his waist, resting my head on his chest.

After taking some time being in each other’s embrace, I pull away and tilt my head up to meet his eyes.

“Thank you for today too,” I utter softly, earning a sweet smile and a long peck on my forehead. Chanyeol’s hand caresses my hair, then rest on my cheek as he wishes me good night. I send him off to the elevator as he leaves for his home which placed at the highest floor of the building. The penthouse, to be exact.

Only now that I remember, it has been 5 years since we have met. And of how the meeting happened? I would save that for later.


	3. Chapter 3

3.

_ I was doing the revision for the upcoming mid-term examination for my first year in high school when the wind chimes that the store owner put by the door was chiming, indicating there are customers coming in. And so I assumed a group of high school girls were the ones who stepped in just now, as I heard their voices chattering loudly that the whole convenient shop was filled by their conversation. Of course I was annoyed by it, but that is something normal that happens every day, so that did not really bother me. _

_ But then a voice stood up from any other else, hushing her friends as she softly warns, “Slow down a bit, girls. Someone is studying.” _

_ Then another person complains, “Well if he really wants to have a quiet surrounding, he should be revising at the library _ _ . Not here.” _

_ “That’s something rude to say, Sun Hee,” the kind girl uttered. “Whatever. Just quickly, get what you guys want and put them on the counter. Then you guys can wait at the outside.” _

_ The other girls seemed to obey what’s that one girl just told them to as I could hear them murmuring, making choices from in front of the fridges for drinks. Not long after that, three girls from that group walked towards the counter, putting the cans of soft drinks and coffees that they picked for themselves in a line before leaving that one friend of theirs to do the payment. _

_ I got up from my seat as I put my books away for a while to do my job and that was the first time we talked to each other as she approaches, “Are you new to this neighborhood?” _

_ Obviously I was quite taken aback by her sudden question but I immediately shook it off as I denied, “Not really. Have been living here since middle school years.” _

_ She hummed, “Then why did I never see you before, even at school?” _

_ My brows furrowed then I looked up at the school logo on the uniform that she was wearing. “Maybe because you’re from A.R. Girls’ School…?” _

_ That girl giggled as she bobbed her head rapidly, “Exactly.” She took out the cash from her purse and handed them to me. “I was just messing around with you,” her finger pointed at my books. “Because you seem like you’re stressed out, dealing with that subject.” _

_ Calculus, by the way. _

_ And I did not able to say anything yet as the girl was very quick when she took one of the cans – a coffee – out from the plastic bag, putting it beside my exercise book before dashing out from the store while saying, “Cheer up.” _

* * *

“Baekhyun.”

I look up at that person who just called out my name and as our eyes meet each other’s, the corner of my lips curled upwards forming a very pleased smile. The other person’s expression does not look very good as he sees me being here, but still, he looks at me with a thin beam as he drags a chair for himself to sit in front of me.

“So I guess you just…arrived?”

And by that, I know what he actually meant to say but instead of giving the real answer, I pretend to be clueless as I blatantly answered, “Arrived here in this country? Well a few days ago, I guess? Almost a week, maybe… I don’t know, staying here makes me lose the track of time.” Then I frown, “But Hyung, come on. I came to greet you at your workplace…you should at least welcomed me cheerfully, not with this kind of face…!”

“How could I do that when I work at _this_ kind of place, can you tell me?” Minseok’s eyes trail at me from head to toe before crossing his arms. “Why didn’t you stay there? In England? Or some other countries with better environment?”

I pout, shaking my head off. “I don’t want to. This country is the place where I was born, of course I want to settle down here.”

“Really?” Minseok doubts. There is a crease forming between his brows at the moment he asks, “Or is it because of her?”

At that, I honestly did not know what to feel. Or how to react. Of course, I could not deny it either – obviously – but to think of it, my heart just…breaks. The thing that happened between us, the day she left really scarred my whole life. I was hurt, I was devastated. Because she was the one who has been supporting me, encouraging me to chase my dream but out of sudden, a few days after I got accepted by the university that we applied together, she acted up.

And just like stating the day’s weather, she told me to break up with her.

I was really mad at her, for the way she behaved, for the way she dumped me. But to say that I hate her for all those hurtful things she said that day, well – stupidly – I don’t. I could never despise her or get her off my mind. I tried to date other girls, in fact, there are a bunch of them asking me out but I couldn’t.

Which is why I hate myself more when I saw her at the café on last Tuesday. I still find my eyes pinning on her, even after all this time.

Somehow that girl looked extremely different than before, especially the way she dresses up.

I think it’s because of my job that I tend to observe that part first soon as someone caught my eyes.

The color of her outfit, that was not her style at all. That girl I knew was someone’s quite cheeky, making her style also resembles that kind of personality. She enjoyed wearing clothes with splash of colors and never afraid to mix and match her outfits; which is actually could make her quirky personality stood up.

Now she looks…modest. _And pretty, as always._ “She already has someone’s new.” I murmured under my breath, making the older guy’s expression darkened.

“Baekhyun, I’m –”

“It is okay, 6 years have passed. Of course she would find another person.” I ruffle my hair with a brittle smile plastered on the face before softly chuckling, “And thank God that guy is a lot taller than me…!” My mind flies to the memories of seeing my ex-girlfriend being in another man’s arm. I was very sure that our eyes met each other’s, I could remember it clearly, of how her pupils were shaking at the sight of me. And for sure I would not blame her for having a new boyfriend – or husband, maybe – since it has been quite a long time since we parted ways.

Honestly, I am very glad that she found someone who looks much better than me. Just by seeing how that tall guy comforted her, I know, he must be a very decent person as well.

_ Thank God, she deserves it. _

I did not realized that my eyes are brimming up with tears when I sadly smile at Minseok. “She’s a lot better off without me, isn’t she?”

* * *

“So this is Mr. Park, he is the chairman of our foundation.”

The moment I turn my head around to look at the person whom that female staff introduced just now, my jaw virtually drops. Surely my eyes widen as I recognize that face very clearly but to conceal my mixed feelings right now, I clear my throat and give that person a friendly smile as we hold out our hands for a handshake. He looks at me with a quite surprised look too, which made me wonder why until he politely asks, “Aren’t you _that_ designer? ‘By B’, am I right?”

For him to know who am I – also my brand – without needing to get me introduce myself first is quite enough to say that this guy is not an ordinary person, since I have never let any reporters to take any pictures of me, even in any published materials that I was featured in, my face would stay hidden. The only ones that would recognize my face are only the VIPs who attended my shows.

Seeing me looking puzzled, Mr. Park makes the situation clear by saying, “Park Chanyeol, LoEY Designs.”

“Oh.” I know that company. This brand is one of the most popular brand in this country, currently topping all clothing brands in Asia and North America. And Park’s family is the most, I mean the _most_ well-known and influenced legacy for their richness and also charity works. Including this foundation, they also own foundation for the disabled, for single mothers and for whatever kind of less fortunate people-you-name-it, they took care of them all. I would say that they actually have a grip of this country’s economy up to 20% by their various kinds of businesses.

Fucking crazy rich Asians.

Hold up_._ If he is _the _Park Chanyeol, doesn’t it means that my ex-girlfriend is dating the – _oh my God_.

And with that, I would like to cancel my existence in her life right at this moment.

“Mr. Byun?” I lift my head up, looking at the guy who is giving me a confused look. “Is everything okay?” Of course he would be puzzled, I literally had my hands covering my mouth to hide a gasp. Letting out a series of awkward coughs, I shake my head and end it with a smile. Probably my cheeks blushed for a while, embarrassed by my own act earlier just now.

As we both take our seats on that office’s couch, the other staff walks in with a tray of cups and teapot and set them up for us, quietly before leaving the room.

Now that there is only me and that Park Chanyeol guy in that space, I feel suffocated out of nowhere. _This is weird, seriously._

“So I was informed that you are donating.”

“Y-yes.” I straightened my back as I add in a low voice, “I hope you would accept my small humble acts.”

“God, no. I mean…” He puts one of his hand on his chest and utters, “This is very meaningful, I don’t know how to express my gratitude towards you. Those people too, they would be glad for getting your kind help.”

I could only smile at his words. To be honest, I feel numb. As this man talks, I could see his humbleness and good heart that he owns. The way he treats people is also…amazing. I saw how he silently thanked those workers earlier, well, getting a sincere ‘thank you’ from your employer for getting your job done – that is something. An added value that most people with higher ‘power’ do not own, _sadly_.

“But I heard the amount is…very big amount. Almost half of your properties, isn’t it?”

Quietly, I nod.

“That is surely something…may I ask, how did you driven to do this?”

I put the cup of tea that I sipped earlier and look up to give him a brittle beam. “Because I am one of them.”

His expression darkened soon as he heard that, and I see his mouth is about to open to say something in reply but a sudden loud chatters from outside immediately halt the conversation before eventually, the door has been opened up wide. The earlier female staff appears with an apologetic face. She looks downward and just behind her, I see a little girl peeping to look inside. Her eyes scan the whole place, looking for something – someone, to be exact – and at the moment she finds what she has been looking for, a grin appears on that face.

“Daddyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

That adorable little kid runs in with her small feet, directly into that man’s arm who had already got up from the seat to welcome the girl.

“I’m so sorry, sir. I tried to make her wait but…”

Chanyeol shakes his head off to that employee with a hand sign that he is okay with this as he continues to receive kisses on his face. His voice is a bit concealed by that girl’s giggles but I could still hear that he said sorry to me so I just let that off with a smile.

“You just got back from clinic, I see. Is your stomach feels okay now?”

“Yes! I’m okay now, Daddy need to fulfill Daddy’s promise…!”

“After Joonie is back from school, we will all go together, okay?”

It heals me to have this sight as I have been always wanting to have a daughter. I am a single man at the age of early 30s, of course I have the desire to have my own kids. But obviously, I need to have a wife to have one and well, I could not find any other than _her_.

“Daddy, who is this uncle?”

“Oh, this is a very kind uncle that Daddy just met.”

A small hand reaches for mine, smartly demanding a handshake. I turn to Mr. Park, asking for permission and he nods, kindly.

So my gaze shift, looking at the girl. She giggles joyfully the moment I hold out my hand to receive that cute handshake; instinctively make me carry her up in my arms.

“Jooie, isn’t it?”

She bobs her head rapidly. “Hyun Joo, but Mommy calls me Jooie.” She is wearing a black and red polka dot, with a black shoes and matching pair of socks. Her hair was tied up – ponytail or piggy tail whatever the heaven they called it – and her neat bangs are quite long that it had almost reached her eyes. Now that I get to see her face clearly, I realized that this little lovely kid has a face that looks exactly like –

_ Only then it hits me. _

Again, the door is pushed wide open. A very familiar face pops in, looking exhausted. The lady is looking down and holding her two knees as she was panting. “Jooie, how many times do Mommy has to tell you not to run away and barge in Daddy’s office? Daddy might have a gues–” Those words immediately dies at the second she lifts her head up and sees that Hyun Joo is in my arms.

“Baekhyun.”

And my world stops.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> huhu this is my second fic so my way of writing was still a bit off somewhere, idk how to say this but yeah, I hope you could bear with it! it'll get better, for sure. (wow see my baseless confidence) anyways, enjoy!

4.

I look away, still avoiding that pair of orbs of his and obviously I am not the only one to act that way as Baekhyun is also mindlessly stirring the drink that does not even need to be stirred. The air feel tensed as there are a lot of words that are still hanging and left unuttered between us. Hyun Joo is in Chanyeol’s office, as the man insisted earlier – that I need to have a talk with this guy who is sitting right across this small table. Chanyeol did not say anything about this, instead, he quietly distracted Jooie and eye-signaled me to confront Baekhyun. And I think he is extremely smart enough to see what type of the connection between me and Baekhyun have without the needs for me to tell him by words.

But, _heck_, what should I say in this situation? How am I supposed to act?

_ Bitchy? _ Just like how I acted on the past when I asked for the break-up?

Or am I bounded to be kind, because this whole mess is not Baekhyun’s fault in any possible ways. But if I treat him kindly, would he think that I’m being hypocrite?

While I was busy contemplating of what kind of act and character that I have to pull for dealing with this, the braver one between us opens his mouth, almost forcefully, “If you don’t have anything to say…”

“I do,” I even raised my hand up a little as a way to stop him from leaving, then I repeat my words in a lower voice – timidly. “Are you doing well now?”

“What?”

I pursed my lips together again, regretting for what I just questioned. Baekhyun faintly titters before turning to me and darts a disbelief look.

“Ridiculous,” he breathes. “Of course, I am doing great. _So great_ but well,” he shrugs. “I could never beat yours. You seem to have a _wonderful_ life with the chairman.”

My eyes shut close for a few seconds as I swallow the words that he gave me, the hatred that he sewed in each of them. Even in his gaze.

I deserve this, of course.

“I see that you even have a kid,” he halted for a few seconds before inaudibly adding, “With him.”

“Two, actually.” I foolishly corrected only that part with a smile. “Twins.”

“Oh, wow,” Baekhyun murmurs under his breath and lowers his head a bit, concealing the shaky pupils just behind the tips of his bangs. “You must be happy now.”

“I am.”

And by that, I meant it well. I am happy with the life I am having right now. _But that is not all of it._

He takes in a deep breath and then let out a beam. A very wide one that it shows his white teeth which are perfectly-lined up, with a series of small nods in the end. “Of course.” Baekhyun looks very innocent as he always is when he smiles just now. “I guess I’m the only one who’s still stuck in the past then.”

“Baekhyun, I’m not here to talk about the past.”

“Me neither.” Those eyes are piercing right into mine. That is the moment I notice; the face is a lot smaller than before and the milky white skin is much paler than what I remember, that the color stays the same even when he is clearly holding in his flaming anger. “But seeing your face makes it pops out ridiculously,” he grits his teeth and that guy definitely gives me a good slap when he utters, “which irritates me.”

* * *

Hyun Joo is a very smart girl that I am beyond grateful for having her as my daughter. Just a little while ago, she was demanding at Chanyeol to fulfill his promise; for all four of us to have a day out to a theme park as a reward that the stomach ache that she was having this morning is already cured. Somehow now, after we picked her brother up from school, she takes a good look at my face and kindly says, “Daddy, it is okay if we go out and play on some other day. Mommy doesn’t look well now.”

And with that, we have already reach the parking lot of our apartment building.

My mind is hardly in a right place but I still hear when Chanyeol makes a request to Mr. Jung for him to bring the kids to the penthouse and stay to take care of them for a while so that me and him would have some alone time for us to talk.

It is quiet, extremely silent that it suffocates me to have ourselves locked in the car but I don’t think my legs have enough strength to stand up outside. Even when I was taking the steps to the car just now, Chanyeol held me with a pair of his arms to give me a great physical support as he has always does.

Our mouth stay shut with each of our fingers entangle with each other’s as his hand and mine are clasping together. He is staring out the window while I am still biting my lower lips whilst pinning down my head looking at the heels I am wearing.

Honestly I have no idea on what am I feeling right now since they are all piling up on each other and mixed up together – it was a lot for me to take.

Baekhyun gave me his straight face all along our short meeting a while ago, his tone remains flat and emotionless and that gaze too, it was a very cold sight that I have never seen it before. And just like that, he left me behind, froze at my seat at the cafeteria in the foundation center.

“I’m sorry.”

That is all I could bring myself to say to Chanyeol, to express my sincere and deepest apology. The hand that is holding mine squeezes lightly, and his fingers gently brushing on the back of my palm. He turns to me, instinctively making me to take a look at him as well, his lips curl into a thin smile.

“You don’t have to be. I’d understand each of your actions.” His deep and low voice is calming and he takes a few seconds before pulling out his wonders, “Did you tell him?”

I am back with my head down as I weakly shakes my head off.

“I couldn’t.” My lips pursed together and I could feel my hot tears is brimming up in my eyes. “I’m scared.”

Hearing my shaky voice, slowly, Chanyeol pulls me close towards him. His chin rests itself right on the top of my head as his arms wrapped around me, one of those big hands pats on my back. “He was so mad,” I tell him between the sobs. “It was so scary I couldn’t even look at him.” My cries is muffled on his chest but I hear Chanyeol hums in response. “He must have been resenting me with all his life.” Then I hug Chanyeol for support. “But I deserve this, maybe much…much more, than this.”

“Hey.”

My face has been cupped by Chanyeol’s pair of hands, he leans in and look for my eyes. Then, he calls my name and repeats, “Hey.”

Timidly, I lifted my head up so that my eyes could see his and for a while, my sobbing stops. “You need to tell him, he deserves to know and trust me, he’d understand.” Chanyeol nods a few times, trying to persuade me on his belief. “He will, babe. That guy is already an adult, he will consider on your past judgments.”

I pout with my eyes and nose are still red due to the long weep. “What if he gets mad?”

“He surely will.”

“Thanks, I found that is very helping.” I frowned, darting my sarcastic gratitude.

Chanyeol denies in his giggles. “I mean, everyone have past mistakes. You were young, and you did that for his own good,” He clears his throat. “Some might say that was a selfish decision. But as well as you, Baekhyun is a very good guy, I can see that. He will try to understand the reason behind you acts. Maybe you two could be happy together again, we never know, right?” That man takes the end of his sleeves to wipe my tears away. He chuckles sneakily, “Gosh…I’ve never seen you cry so hard like this. Look, how drenched my shirt is…!”

“But Chanyeol…”

He responds with a hum.

“Then what about us…?”

Those pair of eyes behind the spectacles widened a bit at my question. “Us…? Oh my God, I’m…” He hides a light gasp with one of his palms. “I’m touched that you include ‘us’ in your consideration. Does this means you feel the same way for me?”

Then a slap lands on his thigh, making him yelp in surprise. I grit my teeth, “Chanyeol I’m serious right now.”

“Me too.” He insists, a bit whiny. “I thought you don’t have any feelings towards me at all.”

“Come on, we hug each other a lot, every day you peck me on my forehead, sometimes on my hair. We practically live together for 5 years, my kids called you Daddy…what else? There’s more…”

“But we never kiss, neither says I love you.”

“I thought adults don’t have to do that…?”

Chanyeol cracks up, amused. “Where did you learn that from? Adults do that too, idiot.” He leaned his back against the leather seat of the car. His pair of big pretty eyes warmly staring into mine. “It’s been 5 years since we know each other, of course we develop feelings. But well,” he sighs at the latter part. “Both of us aware that we have complex past relationships. Basically there is a very fine line drawn between us due to that, so I know my limit and I know you’ve set one too.”

My eyes travel all over his face that is prettily decorated with a reassuring smile and a sweet gaze. And I could not help but to return that kind of beam, then shift my body closer to wrap my arms around him. He was right. What Chanyeol said was true, both of us have our own history that we still cling to. Thus even if we feel the same way for one another, things would not be that easy. Because we are dealing with real life, not some local weekend drama. There are true people’s feelings that should we take into account before deciding anything.

In a low voice, I call his name. “If I may hurt you, or perhaps things might get even more complicated later in the future…” My tears flows down again as I take his hand and hold it firmly. “…I would understand if you leave.”

* * *

_ That man’s running steps slowed down by times and eventually stopped at the moment he realized, he was too late. The only woman who owns his whole heart, whom he gave his all…she had already left. All because of him for he was a coward. Chanyeol was too dumb to notice that she was hurting inside all this time, not by the mean words from the people he called family, not by the discrimination that she received from those they referred as friends – it was all him. Due to the weak and incompetent boyfriend that she had. _

_ Chanyeol’s legs were froze there, in the middle of the crowd that were passing by at the departure hall, regretting all his past mistakes. _

_ It’s not that he did not have money to buy an airplane ticket to the place she went to, heck, he owns two or three houses there in Melbourne. But it was because he knew, even if he got on his knees, begging for her to come back, she won’t. _

_ The relationship is over. _

_ He lose terribly to his timid self, and Chanyeol finds that her last words which pierced his heart the most. “It wasn’t your fault, it is just me who’s too weak for this. I wish you find yourself a very strong lady, Chanyeol. So that she could face the painful reality of being your girl.” _


	5. Chapter 5

5.

I hear the sound of the door behind me slides opened then a series of footsteps follows. Minseok comes to my sight, sets in a jar of plain water with an empty glass and lets out a heavy sigh as he takes his seat by the side of my bed. Meanwhile I am crossing legs, sitting facing the window glass with my eyes do not even budge from looking at the scenery outside. It snows, those tiny white flakes fall down from the sky – beautifully in my eyes, sadly for my heart.

Just like the weather out there, my mind froze as well. The dry ones are not only my lips, but also the trails of tears on my cheeks.

Winter used to be my favorite among these four and I really loved to spend a few days on the ski resort for ice-skis or snowboarding with my college mates – but not anymore. I am literally stuck in this stuffy cramped space, not being able to move anywhere outside without permission.

Ever since she left, I’ve been hating my life. I went to England with a reluctant heart, everyday my steps felt like I’d be going to hell.

_ Will I? _

On every morning, I swore a lot to express how much I was resenting Him for me having to go through another hard sorrowful day.

Well I guess now He gives me what I wanted.

“Baekhyun, it’s been a week since you’ve been thinking about it. Enough already.”

I smile faintly, wiping the remaining tears that suddenly rolls down my left cheek. “I’m sorry.” Then my mouth let out a dry chuckle. “I just can’t forgive myself for saying something mean…”

“At the very least, she deserves it. Doesn’t she?”

“I don’t know, maybe she does. However still…why I was being _that_ bitter? I have no intention to say those things to her but…” Then I bring my knees up close into a hug while my chin rest on them. “She must be hurting for it…she’s a crybaby, really.”

“Are you sure it was only her who is a crybaby?” The older guy hands me my favorite red beanie, and so I wear it on my head but then pulls it down till it covers my whole face to hide the sudden flowing tears. I hate this, I hate doing this. More than anyone I really want us to reconcile, but it isn’t that simple. Especially when my condition is like this, I think reconciling is useless, since we’ll separate again in the end.

And this time it would be forever…

Minseok breathes, silently pours a glass of plain water before offering it to me, so I wipe my tears away and took the glass to sip some of it. It hurts to gulp the down the water but I wasn’t sure on what cause; is it an aftereffect of too much tears consumption or is it my body’s fault?

“Are you sure?”

I am bit shocked for the sudden question but later after few seconds, my face loses its tense as I get what he meant. “I’m not exaggerating, but hyung, really…” I shake my head while letting out a chuckle of amusement. “This is the 20th time you ask me this question today. Aren’t you tired of asking?”

“I won’t be.” He gives me a stern look, which is quite scary of him but of course, I am used to it. Minseok straighten his back and his brows furrows, a heavy sigh comes out from his mouth later on. “Baekhyun, things will get worse. You really have to do something.”

“That’s my plan anyway. Didn’t I mentioned it to you, ever since I contacted you before coming back here?”

“But this is wrong, Baekhyun. It’s not that because it’s my job…” The older guy’s voice tone down a notch. “It’s because you are a brother to me. Just like a real one…I can’t afford to see you like this.”

Again, the silence comes and conquers the whole room. I look away from him, biting my inner cheeks and holding in my breath. It takes about a minute or two before Minseok gets up again, turning his back against me as he walks out from the room. “Please think about it again, before it’s too late…” The guy leaves me with those words I hear the door being sled, closing it shut, keeping me out from the world again.

* * *

“Hey, rookie.”

I lift my head up but barely looking at the person who is standing in front of me now. She did not really care either, but it caught my attention when one of her manicured fingers is pointing at the one corner of the room. Her mouth that is currently chewing a piece of gum or whatever stops it motion and that plum pink lips of hers is being puckered to the same direction. A stack of clothes. That is what she is pointing at – more like a few stacks, they are all fully-covered with transparent plastics.

“Go, get them to my car,” Without a single shame, she puts down a car key on my table. “Better do your work fast, I need to send them now to our booth at the fundraising event.”

My inner self has already had my eyes roll a complete round – if that was possible – however still, I stand up and ought to proceed things quickly. But a sudden call for my name stops me. Immediately, I turn to look at her to find her flickering up and down at me before that lips curl, forming a smile.

Screw me.

“How about you do the work there as well?”

“What do you…?”

“Well, they are in need of someone to stand at the entrance, greet the VIPs and fundraisers. I think that suits you.”

My jaws had almost dropped themselves for real when she utters that without any guilt. Simply making me to do things she supposed to work on. With a continuous mumbling fussy mouth, I take care of what’s being told, putting them in in a trolley and lazily pushes them right to the elevator.

“Miss?”

I gaze at the one who’s greeting me and get a bit surprised for seeing his face. “Mr Jung,” I breathe. “I thought you are already there, at the event.”

“CEO Park left his precious watch at the office.” He explained, raising up a box – the Rolex Antimagnetique Ref. 4113 that Chanyeol won from an auction a few years back – and smiles at me, then his eyes trails down and meet the trolley of stuff that I need to bring. Silently, that man gasps. “Oh, miss. I’m sorry I should help.” Those hands are ready to take the trolley from me but politely, I decline the offer as quick as I could.

Sneakily, I place a finger on my lips and shush him down. “The others will start the talk again. Mr CEO would get into troubles and I really would not want that as well.”

“Are you going to be there as well, Miss?”

I giggled, nodding a bit. “I have no choice, they asked me to.”

“I think it’s time for you to take on your well-deserved position, Miss.”

“Oh, no. Not you too, Mr Jung.” I whine, pouting a bit to the older man. “I thought you supported me when I said I want to start from bottom…?”

“I do, I still do,” he insists but the wrinkles on his forehead appears as he talks. “But seeing you being bullied by your colleagues…”

“This is okay.” And the words are true from my heart. It is truly alright, actually. Besides, I was the one who chose this route. “This teaches me to be a great mom, you don’t know? Since it tests my patience~”

The middle-aged man laughs and we continued the conversation but before we know it, our steps have already bring us to the main entrance of the company. And of course, Mr Jung offered a ride to the venue but I refuse, as I would like to take my own car there – it would be easier for me to run away from the event after getting my job done or in any cases that would need me to leave.

That’s what I thought, not knowing it would truly happens.

* * *

“Babe.”

I flinch, then turn to the man to squint at him. He is standing a few steps away from my side, fully-suited up in an emerald and white suit with a pair of matching dress shoe and his hair slicked back, looking as dashing as ever. A neatly-folded lemon chiffon handkerchief placed in the chest jetted pocket is an added value to the perfect-looking sight. Ignoring my warning, he continues to curl a smile at me while having his eyes flickered up and down at my outfit.

Obviously as one of the staffs for the event, I am wearing the beige uniform with its matching knee-length skirt but Chanyeol looks away and puffs, concealing a laugh from getting bursts.

“Just shut up.”

The guy purses his lips together and shrugs. “You deserves to have a way better position, honey. Why are you so stubborn?”

“You know I’ve made my choice.” I answers with my teeth gritted, trying not to be obvious. “And the situation doesn’t need me too, I’m making a good living for the kids with my salary now.”

“I know. But remember, the position is always opened for you.”

“Are you only here to say that to me? Shouldn’t you be in there, greeting your guests?” I glance at the hall right behind me, and darts a look of annoyance at Chanyeol, making him giggles happily. The guy then pouts and gazes with his puppy eyes, seeking for my attention. “What else, CEO Park? Sir? I’m working right now.”

He crosses his arms. “Why do you always push me away?”

“Because I’m doing my role as an employee, sir. Isn’t that clear?”

“Then when will I get the nicknames?”

“Home.” I glare at Chanyeol and shoo him away with a promise. “Go, I’ll call you every nicknames at home. Now go, don’t get me into troubles.”

Chanyeol’s lips stretch themselves out, forming a wide grin and then shows me a gummy smile before he walks away, annoyingly cute with hands on his back as he sneak a ‘toodles’ at me. I shake my head off, amused at his ridiculously adorable attitude and send him off with a gaze in silence. I get into my true position again, back facing against the opened the door and keep on stretching itself as I bow to the guests and welcome them to the event.

It is a fund-raising event, in the hall, there are more than 50 kinds of booths from various organization and companies, and all of them has one objective that is to collect funds for the needs. They are selling their products and promoting their groups for the participants to join them, also doing their best kind of presentation for the VIPs to choose to give sponsors for their organization.

Thus of course, as the ‘king of charity among young businessmen’, Chanyeol’s company is the one who conducted this event.

“Hey.”

I lift my head and turn to the other staff that is standing the other side of the door. My brows lifted as a sign of why was she calling me just now and she mouthed, “V–I–P.” And by that, she means the VIP, means that the one who donates the most for the organization has arrived.

“Of?”

“YL Blood Cancer Association.”

That’s the cancer foundation of which Chanyeol owns by himself. The one that is single-handedly organized by him, surely a special one in Chanyeol’s heart. I tilt my head to the side. Shrugging to the other person, “Where?”

She narrow her eyes at one corner, showing the person who is walking towards the hall from my side.

And so I turn my head around to take a peek and my eyes widened at the person who comes to my sight. Our eyes meet each other’s, he even stops right in front of me but it seems opposite for him. Sharp and strong, darting an intimidating look with his special single-lidded pair of eyes. He is smiling, but not the usual smile he has always gives. At me, he smiles differently and it was piercing, really.

“Minseok?”


End file.
